I'm an ugly crier - some people can't handle it... you figure that out pretty quickly when you're an ugly crier. My husband is one of those who can. He found out pretty early in our relationship that he liked my kind of ugly, and he has never looked back. That's good, because I ugly cry ON THE REGULAR.
I have experienced many losses in my life. When they have happened directly to me, I have been able to process them somewhat rationally. When loss comes knocking at the door of the person I love the most in the world, the kind of loss that does not leave an explanation, a note, or resolve, one can feel the greatest loss ever thought possible. To see the sweetest, kindest, smartest man in the world lose the one man he only wanted to know more, and who rejected him for reasons unknown... to not be able to change his pain or offer comfort that can fully satiate the hole left... There are no real words for this kind of loss. This is when one gets a glimpse into gift of marriage, why we really need each other. It's not about having the nice house with the 2.5 kids and perfect dog, the gas-guzzling luxury SUV, the regular European vacations, or how much you can build into your retirement fund. It's about supporting each other. It's about being strong when the other is weak. It's about being able to be raw with someone.
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