WOW - A friend that I adore recently posted this article, and I couldn't (respectfully) disagree more.
"I’m all for honesty and being as real as possible, but there is such a thing as being too real. We exist in a time where over-sharing is not just the norm, but is often expected, defended, and celebrated."
Yes, "over-sharing" can be too real for many, but I believe that is because over-sharing is relative. She goes into further detail of what she defines as oversharing.
"...poking into somebody else's business and asking invasive questions makes you look like a tackless asshome... That's the funny thing about necessity: When you're actually needed, people tend to tell you. The worst is when a lack of tact is disguised under a veil of concern. Oh, I'm just asking all these nosy-ass questions because I'm concerned. If you really cared, you would take a step back, think outside of yourself for a moment and consider whether or not you're actually being helpful. Will extracting this information help you make this person's life easier, or are you just being nosy? Are you expressing condolences for an incident that wasn't even directly relayed to you because you're truly concerned or because you want to look like a nice person? Is this a story that is truly the concern of many or is that just what you happen to believe?"
Is that why people in this day and age "poke into someone's business" whom they care about and whom they see is in pain or distress, to exploit them, or is it to help them? Could it be that you are responding this way in order to protect yourself due to past relational hurts (let's be honest... women can be petty)? And what if the person you care about is known for suffering in silence? Will that person actually tell you if they need help? Where is the line, and when do you cross it? If someone is doing something simply because they want to "look like a nice person," sure, that is prideful and gross, but who is the judge of that, the author of this article? Sounds like a bitter Betty to me. Not who I want to be.
Oh yeah, this part is my favorite:
"On a more relatable level, we’ve all seen Facebook posts or tweets that we wish we hadn’t. Couples who detail every step of a pregnancy despite the fact that if something were to go wrong, those posts would be devastating and incredibly uncomfortable."
Of course it's uncomfortable. That's REAL life, not the picture-perfect Facebook/Instagram life. There is so much shame associated with sharing pregnancies early to the point that so many women live in fear during the early stages, making sure to hide both their anxiety and joy from people out of worry that they will have to share the news of a miscarriage as well. What if they do miscarry? Then they grieve in silence, just as they carried their baby joyfully, again, in silence. SHAME. You are not allowed to share your joy, because, god forbid, you will actually have someone to grieve with if you experience sorrow. Especially if you care any bit for women's rights or female shaming, this movement should anger you. If you care for another, you should care if they are happy or if they are grieving. But if it makes you uncomfortable to see someone in pain or in joy over a pregnancy at any stage, chances are you've got your own inexperience/shaming to deal with. Also, the lack of sharing on such topics is what instills fear into pregnant women in the first place - they don't see miscarriage, and therefore do not know how common it is, and when it comes knocking at their door, they feel sense of shame and a wide range of emotions associated with a shameful loss. Speaking out on this topic helps to break that stigma and raise awareness of both the commonality of miscarriage and the reality behind why they may occur.
A word to the "tact-ful:" If you do not want to see it, then un-friend, un-follow, un-care. If you do not have the conviction to share these "over-sharing" topics, then don't, but here's the key - don't judge those who do. That in and of itself is tactless and shameful.
